General reflections

EmyG continues to impact our lives. I think of her everyday. Rebekah and I are both on the wards now. We see sick patients day in and day out. We haven’t really talked about it together.

From my perspective… I can compartmentalize my experiences on the wards from what happened with EmyG. I can walk into the room of an ESRD patient and focus on that person in front of me. I can work up a septic patient, without thinking of the horror that the family and patient are going through. I can be there when an attending physician tells a family that there is no chance their child will live without succumbing to the gut wrenching pit those words force a parent into. So many things these patients and their families have gone through, we went through with EmyG. But it’s not about me, it’s about them. So I compartmentalize. But I don’t compartmentalize the compassion I learned from her situation. How her doctors and nurses cared for her and us. Even if it’s scary, I know people need to stand alongside them as they face serious illness, or death. Emy taught me to value my time with family, and to value the people I am caring for. She was a little human going through trials and tribulations, as are many of my patients. People think doctors are calculating and cold. Not spending much time with patients. That they don’t feel for their patients. That’s not true. They have scores of patients and only so much time in the day. So they have to move from patient to patient to ensure everyone is cared for. As a med student, I have more time to spend with my few patients. With the time that I have, I try to do that. People cannot always be with their loved ones in their sickest moments. Thankfully, God provided so that Rebekah and I could be there for EmyG. And that’s a lesson I take with me. I’ve been put in a position, at a specific time, to be as useful as I can be as a medical trainee. I can practice making my plans, presenting my patients, ordering labs and meds. But the biggest impact I can have is to spend my time with patients and their families as they go through the unknown. Offer an ear, a distraction, a “this is tough, I’m sorry this is happening to you”. Let the family know you truly care about their loved one. Let the loved one know you are listening, and empathizing.

I can never know what they feel, no matter how similar the situation. That’s always important to remember.

EmyG was blessed to have her mama and papa with her. And we were blessed to be with her. Until the very last moment here on earth.

Gosh I miss you little love bug.